Earth at Engulf – Part 3

Don’t be the trashy friend.

While you are doing your last minute packings and supply gathering, think about these important reminders:

  1. Go big. Buy gallon or larger bottles of water and mixers. With whale sized whistle wetters, you’ll prevent many plastic bottles from filling our landfills and Gulf.
  2. Pair up on your trash. Two mermen. Two mer-sacks. One sack for garbage, one for recycling. If you see someone not recycling, do not have sex with that person or merfolk. Who’s your trashy friend? RECYCLING collected at the Greeters station Sunday!
  3. The Gulf shimmers just fine on her own. Leave your petroleum based glitter at home. If you must be a gorgeous sparkle narwhal, we understand… share 18 grams of eco-friendly glitter with your friends: seriously keep the glitter biodegradable. There’s plenty eco-friendlier glitter to choose from.
  4. Don’t pee below the sea. 300 ladies and gents popping a squat or whipping it out in a confined camping area makes everything smell like a whale’s bladder. And with all the whiskey and regrets running through your stream, this turns into a chemical runoff issue for our waterways. Do you want to fuck up Kentwood water? Britney Spears will beat your ass! Even she knows that piss is Toxic.

Everyone is close to a port o potty. Use them, please. As Engulf grows, so will the number of pissers. Use one of those empty gallon jugs you brought as a piss jug to use in your tent. Break the habit now, lest ye be cast off the island and forced to live in a world without Britney Spears or narwhals or sexy Kentwood delivery drivers.


5. Take 2 minutes. Read this in its entirety:

Don’t worry, it’s shorter than Moby’s dick.

Take 10 bullet-pointed notes on how you’re preparing to be EXTRA [earth-friendly] this Engulf. Share them with your trash buddy. Leave no trace! Help your friends leave no trace.

            Teach, don’t preach.

6. Dance like a mermaid with a fresh pair of dancing legs.


This giggly part 3 brought to your by Sprinkles! <3

Read these too: and

Let’s leave the earth at Engulf better than we found it! Consider conscientious and innovative ways to create a more environmentally friendly and responsible burn!

To reach the MOOP POLICE: (561) 542-8734 or ask for Sam.

OH – read the dang survival guide too!

Earth Guardians unite!